I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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