He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
