See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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