its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
