There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
