your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
