I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
