his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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