"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
