Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
