I want to have your abortion
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize