dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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