Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
