just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
