Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
