your room smells of hookers.
And success
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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