white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I met the friendliest cop last night
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
