You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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