i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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