Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
