this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
