I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm at about main and main street
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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