Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I want her autograph on my taint
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
