I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
