im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
