I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
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