Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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