am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
