I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
