I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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