i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
