I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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