Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This is my gift to your gina
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
