he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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