My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
