One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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