woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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