Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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