Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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