So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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