Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
