idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
