wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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