i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
