when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
These tits shall not be calmed
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize