we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
