everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
