a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
