If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
