apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
