lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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