I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
