We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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