ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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