Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
