Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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