This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
