With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
