I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Randomize
