Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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