who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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