a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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