That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
