I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
