And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize